It’s hard for me to say just how the 3 Principles have helped change my life for mine is not a story of dramatic overnight transformation, more a protracted subtle shift in the cells of me.
I can’t say that I live in a good feeling all the time, nor that I am hip to the vagaries of Thought. I don’t always hear my wisdom. I still lose my cool, hurry my children out of the house, harridan-like. It takes me a while, sometimes, to wake up to the fact that I have fallen asleep again and forgotten to remember what I have seen of our true nature.
What this understanding has given me is an unshakeable, solid foundation to stand on.
My eyes have been opened to how we really work and, though I might forget at times, I can’t unsee.
The revelation that, despite what I believed for the most part of my life, I am not, nor ever have been, broken and I don’t need fixing was a game-changer.
I don’t know when I began to grow skewed and flimsy-rigid. I do know that even at age nine, I had little belief in myself.
On being given the coveted role of Mary in the school musical, I thought I was chosen out of sympathy rather than selected for my singing ability. My mum and step-dad’s dissolving marriage was forcing a house move and this was, prematurely, to be my final year at the school.
Somehow this seed of an idea grew. There was something wrong with me; I wasn’t good enough. The sad thing is, I believed it.
Awkward. Disconnected. Insecure. Uncomfortable in my own skin, I envied those who wore theirs with an ease and grace I couldn’t begin to dream of.
I am not a woman of substance, I told my diary.
I was a too-tall, ironing board of a brown-girl-in-the-ring, four-eyed, frizzy-haired freak. I didn’t fit in. A bystander in a life that happened to me, I felt rootless, blown around by the words and deeds of others, no firm ground to rest on. I felt ugly.
There were some cinemascopic scenes in my life which I felt compelled to replay in glorious technicolour and surround sound, even though they brought me nothing but misery. I didn’t know how to stop them, so I searched for the most effective tools and techniques that would help me clear the screens. But this was all such hard work. Overwhelming. Impossible to know where to begin.
There had to be a better way to feel good about myself. To feel connected. To feel whole.
When I came across the 3 Principles around four years ago, I knew I’d found what I was looking for. Simple, yet profound, it immediately resonated with me. I immersed myself in listening to and reading the works of Sydney Banks and others. No great changes happened at first, but a feeling of hopefulness crept in. This was a much richer, infinitely more rewarding, more satisfying inner space to be exploring. I said goodbye to peeling the everlasting onion with its never-ending layers.
A couple of months after first exposure, I went to an in-person seminar. It was markedly different from any other training I had previously attended. Mostly these were heavily scheduled, high energy, brain buzzing, note-taking events. I would leave all fired up and enthused, only for the feeling to wane a few days later. All I had really gained was more folders on the shelves (and whips with which to beat myself).
This session was a very low key affair. Two attendees, two facilitators (a father and daughter team). In. A. Primary. School. There was much quiet and casual conversation. At one point, a short clip of Sydney Banks was played. In all honesty, I thought he was a wild eyed man with a touch of madness about him. On reflection, I know that what shook me up was his unwavering certainty.
On the journey back that evening, I struggled to climb aboard any train of thought. They just kept slipping my mind. In my stomach, the low level hum of anxiety and fear that trundled invisibly along was notable for its absence. What visited me, unexpectedly, was a wonderful feeling of peace and calm. All was well in my being.
It was as if my mind was empty, but I was full. I realised that I could stop the search. After years of looking, I had finally found my way home.
On the surface, my life looks pretty much the same.
I am still a home educating mother, but I have gained another child, one who happens to have an extra chromosome. Discovering that our son had Down syndrome was not the devastating, grief-filled, despair it could have been. He was utter joy. In fact, we were so unfazed by it that, after meeting Larry, my good friend (whom I’ve known since our student nurse days) made a special visit to voice her concerns. She brought biscuits; we drank tea.
She couldn’t understand why I hadn’t said anything and thought that, in my new mother baby bliss, I hadn’t noticed the curve of his eye, his tiny ears, the gap between his toes. I noticed them the moment he was born, but embraced them. My husband and I took the decision to keep this unconfirmed diagnosis to ourselves, at first, so that everyone who met our son had a chance to greet him in love, not fear for his label.
It is hard for me to say just how the 3 Principles have transformed my life. There is greater ease, a feeling of being more comfortable in my own skin. I give myself a break more; stop self-flagellating and playing the guilt, worry, blame, shame game.
I have felt something unforgettable that I cannot ignore.
I still get lost at times, but, deep down, there is huge comfort in knowing that despite how it may seem, I am still home. I wouldn’t be without the hope this understanding offers. I wouldn’t want to live without the light at the end of the tunnel and the wisdom to know that the tunnel itself is an illusion of Thought.
We are all pure light.
“Seek simplicity and logic… psycho-logic”
Sydney Banks, The Missing Link (page 107)
Tell Your Story, they said… Have the 3 Principles helped change your life? Has Innate Health strengthened your resilience for whatever life may throw at you or have you resolved huge challenges in your life? We would love to hear how! Here is the story that won me two three day passes to the 2015 Innate Health Conference . To listen to this story, please click here…